the good way

Relationship Inventory

Session 5 • Family • Activation

During this session we began to reflect on who is in our lives. We all need good friends - people we share our lives with, people who know us and care for us. We are also called to serve others by sharing our gifts and resources. In order to grow and mature in our faith, we also need to be intentional about being around people who will encourage us and inspire us.

Spend some more time taking inventory of the relationships you hold. To do that, simply think through all of the people you regularly interact with and spend some time journaling what it’s like for you to be in relationship with that person. Do this prayerfully and invite the Holy Spirit to speak to you about your relationships.

Personal Reflection

You may find it helpful to begin by reflecting on the following questions:

  • Which relationships feel mutual? (There is mutual giving and receiving, care and support.)
  • Which relationships feel less mutual? (Maybe you are intentionally pouring into them or they are intentionally pouring into you.) How do those relationships feel to you?
  • Which relationships give you life and energy? Which drain your energy or feel burdensome?
  • In which relationships do you feel fully yourself? In which relationships are you putting up a front?
  • Which relationships nurture and sustain you?
  • Which relationships inspire you to grow and become more fully your true self in Christ?
  • Where are you noticing disappointment, tension or unmet expectations in your relationships? What is God’s invitation to you?

The categories below are not supposed to be rigid - many relationships will present us with opportunities for mutuality, serving and growing. Those are wonderful! This is simply a way for us to prayerfully take stock of who is in our lives and to invite God to extend fresh invitations to us.

Mutuality

  1. Who are the people I enjoy sharing my life with?
  2. What are my desires and longings for those relationships?
  3. Am I comfortable sharing my faith journey within these relationships?
  4. Who really knows me and cares about me?
  5. Who am I being honest with about my failings and shortcomings?
  6. Who celebrates victories with me?
  7. In what ways do I give in these relationships? In what ways do I receive?
  8. What sort of friend are you to others?
  9. Who do I gather with for prayer, worship and fellowship?

Giving

  1. Who are the people that I feel invited to invest in?
  2. In what way can I serve or help someone else with the gifts and abilities God has given me?
  3. How is God inviting me to use my gifts, time or resources for the edification and development of others?
  4. What are the relationships that cost me something?

Growing

  1. Who do I talk to about my spiritual life?
  2. What sorts of environments are conducive for me to grow spiritually?
  3. Who is helping me to love and trust God more?
  4. Who is praying for me about my weaknesses, addictions, fears, or temptations?
  5. Who has permission to ask me hard questions or hold me accountable?
  6. Who is intentionally investing in me or developing me?

We all need God’s help to find balance in each of these three areas relationally. We all need spaces to:

Gather. Give. Grow.

If you notice any imbalance, ask God to guide you in making a shift. Do you need to create any new boundaries in particular relationships? Is God inviting you to have courage in pursuing greater depth or vulnerability in particular friendships? Is the Holy Spirit drawing your attention to someone or some space where you could use your gifts? Is there someone you would like to ask to support or mentor you?

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